Initially, Brenden and I met one summer many years ago. I started attending Bethel Christian Camp many years ago as a child, and as I grew older, I experienced a deep desire to work in the place that I had so often felt peace, contentment, and true fellowship with like-minded believers. I started working at BCC the summer before I turned 15 (2002). I was getting ready to go into 9th grade and (at the time) thought it was just SO COOL I got to hang out with high school & college students. I had a blast that year and returned every summer after that until I graduated college. The second year I worked at Bethel (2003), was also the summer that Brenden Marcel Boudet worked at BCC. If you had told me then that 10 years later we'd be married, I would have laughed my head off.
Not that Brenden wasn't a nice kid or anything, but we were 15 years old (going on that ever important 16). If you look back at memories of yourself at that age, you typically laugh. I was an awkward teenager who often felt out of place in new social settings, and so used sarcasm to cover my nervousness. Brenden was a bean pole. He was probably about 6'2" by that summer and ALL skin and bones. He had these big hands and feet that didn't quite match the rest of his frame, a loping run, and was very hyper.
Nonetheless, we struck up a quick friendship. He and his friends would tease me and mine. I distinctly remember playing a lot of Egyptian Ratscrew, a lot of blushing, and being distinctly aware of just how much bigger he was (I come from an average height family...my mom is 5'1", my dad is 5'8", my sister is 5'3"......you get the idea) and how strange it felt to have a male non-family member sit that close to me while playing. I remember hearing a rumor that Brenden had had a small crush on me, and I knew that I kind-of liked him.
Nothing developed, of course. Sorry if you were thinking we were high school sweethearts.
(The most awkward memory I have is of us sitting on the small dock outside of the boathouse one afternoon with Dana, the head girls' counselor at the time. We were just sitting and chatting, splashing our feet in the cool lake water to escape the heat and humidity of those Carolina summers. Dana was fairly petite. She was maybe a little over 5 feet tall, and compared to Brenden's 6'2" and my own 5'7", I'm sure she felt very tiny. I remember her sitting inbetween us and looking down at the length or our arms and legs and feet, and simply making the offhand comment, "Wow. You guys could get married and have feet!!" Looking back it was something completely innocent and just her way of joking since she was so small compared to us, but I blushed and blushed and blushed. As teenagers, we often don't know how to handle our feelings and OMG the fact that the guy I kinda liked was right there. Would he realize that I liked him??? Did he like me??? What if he did?! What if he didn't?!? You remember what that's like)
So summer came and went, and we went off to our separate lives. I went to White Knoll High School, Brenden went to Covent Christian School and we lived on opposite sides of town. We would occasionally hang out with mutual friends for coffee or someone's birthday, but nothing beyond that. I saw him for a brief two weeks the following summer before he left for a mission's trip to Bulgaria, got over my crush, and didn't see much of him again. He dated a few girls, nothing serious. I dated a few guys, 1 seriously for about two years in high school.
Fast forward about 7 years...
It's February of 2009.
I am a junior in college. We have just come back from Christmas Break, and I am getting over a bad relationship break-up. The guy I had dated the past two years turned out to be a complete jerk and I had just broken things off. I was feeling sorry for myself, and didn't know who I was at times. I let the relationship control who I was and wasn't finding my worth and value in Christ.
I was in the library on campus inbetween classes, and killing time by surfing the web and checking facebook. I happened see Brenden's profile and something prompted me to look at it. I noticed he was living in California. I had returned from spending a year in Hawaii, and thought to myself, 'Wow. Someone else actually left South Carolina. I wonder how he got there?' Next thing ya know I found myself writing him a quick message, asking how he had been and noting that I had no idea he had joined the Air Force.
The rest is history!
Just kidding.
We messaged back and forth for a few more minutes, and I then I remember I had to leave in a hurry to make it to my class. Without even thinking about it, I said something like, 'Well hey. I gotta run, but listen, here's my number. Text me sometime so we can catch up. It was good talking to you.' I went to class and then went to work. That was the first day Brenden Boudet called me.
Let me pause for a moment to explain how literally EVERYTHING to this point was a God-thing. 1) Brenden and I both grew up in Christian households. We lived in the same city and spent one summer working together. 2) God knew we both needed time to mature in our faith and so separated us during this growth period. 3) Brenden had joined the AF but was actually sick that very day on quarters (essentially confined to his room with strep throat). I was on facebook on a break at the same time he was. 4) He had the time to initiate conversation and talk about life over the next couple days without the stress of work and scheduling. 5) I had just come out of a bad relationship and was looking to mend my relationship with God (I had literally come to my lowest point weeks previously and told the Lord that I needed to renew a right relationship with Him before getting involved with a guy again) Had any one of these things been off by just a little bit, we wouldn't be where we are today. Had I not gone to Hawaii and come back (and have a curiosity for people that also left); had Brenden not joined the Air Force and gone to California and gotten sick; had we both not had the time to chat and catch up......the list simply goes on and on. Looking back now I can see all the little details that God set up just perfectly to bring us to where we are today.
We started talking. He texted me that afternoon and wanted to know everything. He played 20 questions with me and asked me about everything from my favorite color, to flower, to ideal date, to what I wanted out of life, to what my family and his family were like. He called me that evening and we talked for a half hour maybe. That was the start of it. Within a week, Brenden called and told me that he liked me. No pomp and circumstance. Just straight up. "I like you. and I'd like to get to know you better. You seem like the kind of girl I would want to date, but I need to know here and now if you can handle the distance. I won't always be able to call you or text you. and if this goes someplace and we DO get married, I need to know you can handle this lifestyle." I was completely blown away. I had never been around someone who was so direct and to-the-point. The last guy I had dated before this had often been the 'beat around the bush' type who never wanted to step on toes. For those of you who know Brenden, you understand. Sometimes you can end up putting your foot in your mouth, but this is one the things I value most about him. He always gives you the honest answer. He never worries about what you'll say. He just says what he thinks and deals with the consequences.
I knew automatically that I could handle it. I liked the active lifestyle, the unknowns of getting to visit new places. And so our courtship began. Rocky at first, it slowly picked up momentum. He was so busy with school and training he would sometimes forget to call me for weeks at a time. He always said it never felt that long to him. Though I tried calling him a few times, it never worked out. He would talk for under 5 minutes, then apologize and get off the phone. Eventually I took it a sign that I was supposed to wait for him to initiate things (be proud, momma! Your girl learned well!). I worked at camp again that summer and would get to talk to him late at night after the cabins were all quiet. I walk a ways up the path and just sit on the white sand under the moon and catch up with what the week had been like. We talked for about 6 months before officially dating that November. He came home to Columbia after completing training. He said he wanted to spend time with me in person to make sure this was the right decision. It was. I met his family (very nervously, I might add), I met his friends, we hung out. We officially started dating. We were exclusive.
And let me say, ladies and gentlemen, it changed my life. Before Brenden I had been in an emotionally taxing relationship. I made the mistake of dating someone with a lot of emotional baggage and it really took its toll on me. But being with Brenden was as easy as breathing. He was a Godly man who knew without even pausing exactly how a woman should be treated. He had a great example in his dad, but for me it was life-altering. Sure guys in the past were nice, but nice wasn't the issue. He was thoughtful, considerate, always paid for everything (sometimes other guys would go Dutch), always wanted to know what made me happy, what filled my love tank. He never thought twice about opening doors for me, and always wanted to hold my hand. He was content being close to me. Brenden's main love language is physical touch. I'm more of a quality time person, but through our year and a half of marriage I have discovered the easiest way to make Brenden happy is to be near to him. To hold his hand or touch his arm, lean against him, etc.
After the strain and stress of completely wrong guy, it was like having my eyes opened for the first time. Two things instantly clicked in my head. The first was that story books got it all wrong. True love didn't work at all the way it does in fairy tales. The second was that Brenden was definitely the type of guy (I wasn't sure if he was THE one yet, but I was getting there) I wanted to marry. It was as if I had been underwater for ages. I was trapped and unable to breathe. Things were clogging my airways, I was choked by memories of the past, haunted that I wouldn't find a decent guy to spend my life with, worried that I would be bitter forever. A lot of healing took place...and I was finally putting Christ first. After being with Brenden, it was like my head burst through the surface. Remember that scene in the Little Mermaid where Ariel is given legs and swims to the surface of the ocean with Scuttle and Sebastian's help? That shadowed image where she clears the water and takes her first human breath? That was me. I came up to breathe and experienced the purest, freshest air possible. Being with him was easy and filled with joy and laughter.
I had never had a guy tell me he was praying for me. Encourage me with scripture verses. One day he sent me this: " "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Was doing my bible study and saw this. Everyday I praise God for giving me a woman who fears the Lord. Ohh and btw, He also gave me the other two as bonuses."
Different day: "Btw, I love you and miss you! Have a GREAT morning! I thank God everyday for giving me a woman who understands and enjoys my presence."
Another example: "I have several reasons I am dating you. And now that Ive had a moment to think about it, I want to tell you. I know I dont open up enough, so here goes.
First reason, because you are a christian. You remind me everyday that I am a flawed human being, but that is OK with Christ. Neither of us expects perfection out of the other. And that is refreshing to me. "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10" You are virtuous. You do have faults, but so does everyone else. You are a strong willed, intelligent, and know your faith.
You can keep up with me, stand up to me, and challenge me. You are gorgeous beyond anything I could hope from someone to date me, you make me happy, and I enjoy your company soo much. We not only fit well together, but you challenge me and keep me on my toes. I need that from a wife. I need you.
I love you soo much not only for your strengths but also your weaknesses. I know that all humans have faults, and that even with yours you are strong. I love that about you.
Baby, I love you. I cant wait to live with you. And find everyday that Im dating you to be a blessing.
-Brenden"
Need I say more?!
Like I said, a breath of fresh air. We dated for about a year and then got engaged in the summer of 2010. We were married in April of 2011. And I am so grateful I finally sat back and allowed God to bring the right man for me instead of constantly trying to find him myself. I have been blessed beyond measure. My cup overflows.
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